Imperfect Serenity Blog
I began this blog in 2005 while I was taking care of two young children and my dying mother, so the title, Imperfect Serenity, referred to my struggle to stay spiritually grounded during a difficult time. Eventually the title came to include my experiences in eco-justice activism, anti-racism work, and book publicity.
Fun Mom
Yesterday on the playground after school, a girl in Luke’s First Grade came up to me and said, “Luke’s so silly. He’s like my personal entertainment.” A nearby girl concurred, and Luke responded by falling to the ground and rolling in the wood chips. The girls laughed, but I was annoyed because I was trying to get him off the playground and into the car. Later Megan told me that I have no sense of humor.Her comment brought me back to last Sunday when we had a lovely dinner with a family from Tom’s church. The mother told me that when her three children are misbehaving she often tells them, “I want to be a fun mom. And I’m not getting to be a fun [...]
Conscious vs. Unconscious
I’m reading all this academic literature about how deluded white Americans are. What I’m finding most interesting are the studies that show a gap between what people say they believe and how they actually behave on tests that measure unconscious assumptions. In daily life, this manifests as the white woman who says she doesn’t have any stereotypes about black people, but who unconsciously grips her purse tighter when she passes a black man on the street, or the white employer who says he wants a diverse workplace, but whose body language toward a black job applicant is subtly less welcoming. According to psychologists, this is the most common type of white American. Those who are openly racist and those who are truly not racist are [...]
Getting Older
Today is Luke’s birthday, finally. After weeks of anticipation, he is seven. His ambivalence about it continued right up to last night. After Megan asked me to buy her deodorant and sunscreen—so she can “feel older”—Luke observed, “Megan wants to get older, but I don’t.”I can’t say I blame him. Two weeks ago I had a doctor’s visit and walked out with four referrals and two prescriptions. I don’t have anything tragic or life threatening, except aging, which come to think of it will eventually become life threatening. For the time being, aging just means a growing list of inconveniences: bad knees, a heel spur, heart burn, trouble losing weight, that sort of thing. I tried to explain to Luke that I like being in [...]
Mixed Blessings
This morning I noticed Megan scratching her head at the breakfast table. Those of you who have dealt with head lice won’t judge me for sighing in relief when I heard that Luke had banged her in the head.It’s one of those good-news-bad-news days. I finally finished our taxes last night, and the good news is that we’re getting money back. The bad news is that I absolutely can not find my W-2, which I had as of 10:30pm last night. My theory that it had fallen behind the desk was not born out this morning when I tore the whole desk and filing cabinet apart looking for it and only found mounds of dust. I finally stopped looking to bring the kids to school, [...]
Taxing Time
I’m going to do my taxes today. Or at least I’ll start them. I’ve been meaning to all week. Usually I have them done by now, but there has been too much going on this year—Mom’s taxes, among other things.One of the first questions I need to answer for my own taxes is whether or not to file as a business in 2005. I have taken deductions as a writer for at least a decade. But since the sale of my first book in 1998, most of my income has come from teaching and leading workshops. If you add up the cost of my printer ink and paper (not to mention all the other things you can deduct) my writing has been a money-losing proposition. [...]
Competition
Softball started on Saturday. Since Luke will be seven in less than two weeks, he’s now in the older group of players. This apparently means they get more expensive uniforms and play something more like real games, as opposed to last year in the Instructional League, where kids hit the ball off a T, and parents hoped they ran in the right direction.The parents in our neighborhood Instructional League are not too intense, at least not compared to stories you hear of crazy shouting sports parents. We have a friend who is a well respected soccer coach, and his wife says it’s all true, those stories about competitive parents screaming at the top of their lungs. Last year her husband the coach had to sit [...]
Commercialism
My nine-year-old daughter likes to listen to B101, the soft rock station that advertises “five songs in a row.” Of course, whenever you turn the station on, they always seem to be on a commercial, a point I made this morning on the car ride to school. Megan defended the station and said you only get two or three commercials in a row, but her brother Luke disagreed. “Whenever they say, ‘Five songs in a row,’ or ‘Fewer commercials’ that’s actually a commercial because they are advertising themselves. So they have a commercial saying they don’t have many commercials,” he noted triumphantly.That’s pretty astute for a six-year-old, if I must say so myself. For all I complain about Luke’s obsession with all things Star Wars, [...]
Maryland Crabs
Our little foursome had a relaxing and fattening weekend on Maryland’s Eastern Shore. We left Friday night and, despite some traffic, had a pleasant ride, punctuated by Luke’s never ending questions:If someone got really mad and smashed a bunch of ice cream cones in an ice cream store, would he go to jail?What if it was a kid?If someone hit a police car on purpose, would he go to jail?Can you go to jail for lying to a police?Could a judge go to jail?If a kid was on a bus and he grabbed control of the bus from the bus driver and smashed the bus into a house, would he go to jail ?You get the gist. This line of questioning went on until well [...]
Raising Activists
To mark the third anniversary of the war in Iraq, my children and I went to two different peace gatherings. One made us feel hopeful and empowered. The other just made us cold and cranky. I think the peace movement needs to pay attention to the difference.The first rally was a raucous gathering along a busy but narrow street, a stone’s throw from our US Senator’s house. There were plenty of signs with print large enough to be read from the passing cars, which honked their support throughout the rally. There was a bull horn, and the young man who wielded it made a point of giving the children a chance to lead the crowd with their own cheers. The presence of children was the [...]
Spring Break
We’re on our fourth day of spring break, so not much writing is happening around here. We have, however, visited the dentist, the art museum, the mall, and two peace marches. I’ve also painted some pipes in the basement, which I would never do during work hours, so I suppose some time puttering around the house is good for all of us. It does feel easier this time around, with Megan old enough to read and Luke old enough to amuse himself by climbing on parked cars, a habit I really have to break him of. In any case, we’re managing without much fighting, so I can’t complain too much.I’m still sitting with the writing issues, testing the waters. Thanks to those who sent encouragement [...]