After Megan got lice last spring, I wrote a tounge and cheek list called "Ten Things I've Learned About Head Lice" which is now available online. Hope you don't need this advice, but feel free to forward it to someone who does.

I fear Megan is the kind of person who assumes that the glass is half empty. She also tends to believe that her brother’s glass is half full and responds with a high-pitched, “No fair!” to anything good that comes his way. Yesterday morning, when he sleepily rolled out of bed and staggered into my arms for a hug, Megan’s complaint was close behind. I explained that if she wanted a hug she could climb out of bed and get one. Instead she started the first argument of the day at 6:32 am.One of my mantras is “Make a request, not a complaint.” For example, “I’m thirsty!” is a complaint. “May I please have a drink of water is a request.” The latter gets better [...]

It’s Thursday, and I haven’t written all week because my mother has needed more help. It’s hard to watch her getting weaker while still clinging to her independence the way she clings to the refrigerator edge when walking in the kitchen. It’s also hard to know what to do when she is being stubborn about accepting more help. Last week she told me she was ready to hire a nurse’s aid to come at dinner. After I spent a long time on the phone with the agency recommended by the hospice social worker, set up a meeting, arranged my schedule, then rescheduled the meeting on my mom’s request, after all that, she decided she didn’t like their brochure and didn’t want to meet with them [...]

In addition to Batman, I also struggle with birthday parties. Megan brought hers up this morning, although she won’t be nine for two more months. On the way to school, she announced that she wants to have her party at an ice skating rink and that parents can leave if they want or they can volunteer to drive the girls (since it goes without saying that they will all be girls) back to our house where they will make up and then act out Princess Diaries III, if it’s not out by then. She delivered this plan with the same assurance with which George Bush announced his nomination of Harriet Meyers.Clearly the birthday stakes are rising. Megan had her first party when she was three. [...]

One night at bedtime Luke prayed to “stop thinking about that thing I’m thinking about.” I asked if he wanted to share what was on his mind, but he said no. The next night he prayed again, “Don’t let me think about that thing I was thinking about last night.” Eventually I pried out his worry. Evidently he had seen a Batman cartoon where an evil woman kissed Batman with poison on her lips, and Luke couldn’t get that image out his mind. This, he explained, was the reason he wasn’t letting me kiss him goodnight any more. And here I had worried that seeing Star Wars was going to ruin him.Maybe the Waldorf people are right that we should shield children from all media, [...]

The other day my eighty-two year old mother remarked that she’d never had anything to look forward to in her life, “just wash, iron, cook, and clean.” It made me sad to hear her look back on her life that way, but it also made me think about my own life and what gives it meaning.I certainly don’t do as much cleaning and ironing as my mother did at my age. (Once I pulled out an iron for a special occasion, and my daughter asked me what it was.) Even though I’m the primary cook for my family, my life is full of so many other activities that I hardly count cooking as a major way I spend my time. When I do clean or [...]

“Was God ever a baby?” asked Luke at dinner last night.Before either Tom or I could answer, Megan said, “I think that when God was a baby, the world was a baby.”“And when He was a teenager,” added Luke, “there were dinasoars.”“Don’t say, ‘He,’” corrected Megan. “Who says God is a ‘He?’”“OK,” said Luke, “He and She.”“No, it’s ‘He orShe,” said Megan. “Not He and She.”I don’t know. I kind of like “He and She.” It sounds more inclusive, less limited by human conceptions. I affirmed Luke’s wording, but he said, “Actually I think God is more like a boy.”“Why do you think that?” I asked.“Because we say, ‘Our Father,’” explained Luke, like he was the first person to ever notice this. “And fathers are [...]

I had to turn on the car defroster this morning, there was so much steam coming out of my ears on the way to school. I don’t know why running late bothers me so much. I guess it’s the feeling of not being in control. I should know by now that I can’t control how long it takes my daughter to pick her wardrobe for the day while my son is swinging on the bunk bed in his underwear. If anything, there is an inverse relationship between how much I yell at them and how long they take. Still, I yell. Not as much as I used to, but more than I’d like to. What pushed me over the edge this morning was looking for [...]

This morning Luke got up around 6:30 and begged to watch a video before his sister awoke even though we have a no-TV-on-school-mornings rule. I told him to wait until tomorrow (Saturday), which was like telling him to wait till the cows come home—tomorrow seems that remote to him. Yesterday was even worse. He was told he’d have to wait over a week for a playdate with a favorite friend, and he sobbed in despair: over a week.I understand; waiting is hard. It’s the spiritual practice life keeps giving me, though, so I guess I have more to learn from it. I’ve almost forgotten that I’m trying to sell my book—almost. The other day, tucked in a tiny pocket of my wallet, I found a [...]

Last February, when Luke started obsessing over what he wanted to be this Halloween, I told my children they weren’t allowed to think about Halloween costumes until October. What I really meant was that I didn’t want to think about it until October, but Megan must have taken this admonition more seriously than most of what I say. Last week, when she was asked at school what she was going to be for Halloween, Megan said resentfully, “I’m not allowed to even think about it until Saturday.”Well, now it’s October. The greeting card store has its Christmas decorations up, and I’m ready to think about Halloween. Luke wants to be Obi-wan Kenobe so he can carry a lightsaber, which he absolutely swears he won’t swing [...]