Imperfect Serenity
I began this blog in 2005 while I was taking care of two young children and my dying mother, so the title, Imperfect Serenity, referred to my struggle to stay spiritually grounded during a difficult time. Eventually the title came to include my experiences in eco-justice activism, anti-racism work, and book publicity.
Earth Day Diet
Image shamelessly borrowed from the Environmental CenterAlthough it’s ridiculous that the Earth only gets a lot of mainstream media attention one day a year, Earth Day still seems like something I want to mark. I took a walk in the woods with two friends this morning, but that was about nourishing myself more than about honoring the Earth. I got an email from the Environmental Defense Fund suggesting political actions I could take to cap global warming pollution, and that felt important, but not that satisfying. Instead I want to start an experiment, or restart it, actually. I want to try to eat less, not just out of vanity and health concerns (though those play a part), but because I want to reduce my carbon footprint, [...]
Belonging to God
Last Saturday I spoke to a group of Philadelphia Quakers about spiritual discernment, a topic I’ve been writing about for nearly 16 years, though the longer I write about it, the less I think I know. In general, my message over the years has been this: There is a Divine Spirit that offers us guidance, though it’s not always easy to hear or distinguish from the other voices that can guide us, such as social pressure and our own ego-driven desires. I still believe this, though during the last year I’ve been getting another message that seems contradictory. As I was wrapping up revisions on the book I got a letter from a former Pendle Hill teacher that I summarized in this paragraph, at the end [...]
The Spiritual Challenge of Facebook
A big theme in my writing is living with trust because I don’t think it is good for our souls to go through the world with our guard up all the time. I’m not against smoke detectors and seat belts, simple ways we can make ourselves and our loved ones safer. I’m not against security settings on Facebook, either, or other precautions to protect our privacy in the age of the Internet. But I often wonder where to draw the line between precaution and paranoia, especially as a parent. Figuring out whom to friend on Facebook is the latest issue to challenge me to think about what living with trust really means in the cauldron of daily life. When I first joined Facebook, I friended [...]
Sabbath Year
After writing the post on Focus two weeks ago, I decided to take a “sabbath year,” inspired by one Quaker meeting’s decision a few years back to abstain for a year from all activities that were not strictly necessary. It was a chance to make some space and see what was really essential. In my case, I’m going to make it a sabbatical from volunteering, though with a similar purpose. Initially I thought this sounded selfish; then I started adding up in my mind all the hours I’ve spent volunteering for various things in the last twenty-six years. Mostly they have been wonderful enriching experiences, but lately I’ve been feeling resentful of people in my various communities who don’t volunteer as much, which is a [...]
Defensiveness
I don’t think of myself as a defensive person. I try to listen to criticism with an open mind, see what I can learn from it, and dismiss anything that doesn’t ring true after considering it. I said, “I try.” Twice recently I’ve found my back up. My first impulse was to analyze the poor communication skills of the people who prompted the defensiveness. “If she had worded that differently,” I thought, “I would have listened more calmly. I should explain to her how to deliver criticism in a more effective way.” This first train of thought led me to recall times that I’ve made other people defensive, which sometimes happens when I express an environmental concern to friends who don’t share my habit of [...]
Focus
Recently I spent time with someone who is younger than I am, had a comparable education, and now runs a large organization. Thinking about how his career path has been different than mine raises a host of conflicting feelings in me: gratitude for the richness of the life I’ve experienced so far and frustration that I haven’t accomplished more by what is quite optimistically the middle of my life; an un-Quakerly pride that I never put career ambitions ahead of following a leading, mixed with a desire to be better compensated for work I think is important; an appreciation for the things I’ve learned on this circuitous path, as well as a sense that I want to focus my energy more in the future. It’s [...]
A Quaker Approach to Prayer
Thanks to everyone who posted their thoughts on Quakers and Prayer on my Facebook profile. I used many of your suggestions during my talk at Church of the Redeemer, which seemed to go well. I won’t try to recount everything I said here, but I will share a few things I figured out along the way. After the usual disclaimer about how hard it is to generalize about Quakers, I started with “that of God in everyone” and the Quaker belief that we are all always connected to God and can feel that connection at any time and in any place, though we are not always attentive to it. Prayer, I suggested, is any attempt to pay attention to the Divine. It may take the [...]
Connections
Running into an old friend and her daughterLast week was a whirlwind—and not just because snow continued to blow through Philadelphia. I hopped on a plane Wednesday (a day early because of the forecast) and headed down to Durham, North Carolina, where I delivered three talks in three days, visited with several old friends, met a bunch of new interesting folks, and didn’t get quite enough sleep. Back home now and way behind on email, I’m reflecting on the wonder and longevity of human connections. Even just in publicizing the talk I gave at The Regulator Bookshop, I rekindled connections with three old college professors, two of whom took me out to a wonderful French dinner while I was in Durham. Thirty years after I [...]
Passages
You all know I like to talk about books—especially good books I’m reading and books by friends. Saltwater Slavery: A Middle Passage from Africa to American Diaspora is an award-winning study of how the Atlantic slave trade worked to transform human beings into commodities. Author Stephanie Smallwood takes the records of the Royal African Company and the correspondence between its employees and digs out their unintentional hints as to what enslaved Africans actually experienced during this process. It’s not only a first rate piece of historical research, it’s well written and compelling, which as a former graduate student I have to say is not always the case with academic books. (Confession, Stephanie is a good friend, which is why I picked up the book, but not [...]
Minutes of Religious Service
It’s been two years since my meeting granted me a minute of religious service, and since my anchor committee is meeting tomorrow night, it seems like a good time to reflect on what having a minute has meant. First, for the non-Quakers—or for those Friends whose meetings don’t engage in this practice—let me explain a few terms in that first sentence. A Quaker congregation (in my branch of Quakerism) is called a monthly meeting (Robin M explains the many ways we use the word meeting) because, although we gather to worship every week, we meet once a month to conduct business in a spirit of worship. (Some Quakers use the term “church,” but I won’t try to explain all the variety within Quakerism here.) A minute [...]
