After writing the post on Focus two weeks ago, I decided to take a “sabbath year,” inspired by one Quaker meeting’s decision a few years back to abstain for a year from all activities that were not strictly necessary. It was a chance to make some space and see what was really essential. In my case, I’m going to make it a sabbatical from volunteering, though with a similar purpose. Initially I thought this sounded selfish; then I started adding up in my mind all the hours I’ve spent volunteering for various things in the last twenty-six years. Mostly they have been wonderful enriching experiences, but lately I’ve been feeling resentful of people in my various communities who don’t volunteer as much, which is a sign that it’s time for a break.
Then I started thinking logistics. I’m done my term as assistant clerk of my Quaker meeting in December of this year, so January 2011 seems a good time to start. That gives me time to arrange for someone else to organize the MLK Day project I’ve led at the kid’s school for the last several Januaries. January is also basketball season, and there weren’t enough drivers this year, so I’ll have to think through whether driving to kid’s sports fits into the volunteering box or the parenting box. My daughter’s class has returned from their seventh grade trip to Costa Rica, so the fundraising for that trip is done (except for the good souls who volunteered to sell hot dogs at lunch all year). My son’s trip isn’t for two years, so I should have a little breather there, I thought, until I remembered that the planning for that trip starts the previous year. This means that much of the fundraising for his trip will take place during the fall of 2011. Furthermore, the parents in his class are much less involved than the ones in my daughter’s class, so I’ve been assuming that I’m going to have to step up more for that trip than for my daughter’s. “There goes my sabbath year,” I thought, until I remembered that one of the major fundraisers will take place in January of 2012. It would still require a lot of planning during the fall of 2011, but if I take some leadership for the January event, maybe I could at least limit the work I do in 2011. The alternative would be to leave being assistant clerk in September 2010, rather than the end of the year, so I could make my sabbath September to September, but I don’t want to do that to our clerk. Amazing that taking a year off from volunteering should seem so complicated and take such advanced planning.
This experiment will raise a lot of questions about the boundary between being a good community member and volunteering something extra, but I suspect they will be helpful questions. Will I still go to every Quaker business meeting when I’m no longer assistant clerk? Will I still bake cookies for the back-to-school dinner? And more fundamentally, what motivates my participation in these activities—something Spirit-led and life-giving, or a desire for acceptance, praise, or recognition? I’ve never stopped to question why I volunteer for things before—it’s just been part of who I am—but a pause for self-reflection is never a bad thing. I suspect it will provide some fodder for future blog posts (and maybe inspire others to cut back).
Good for you! You can do it – stick to your sabbath goal! I tend to raise my hand for everything that comes my way – but reflection on WHY I’m serving is as important as the act of serving itself. No one wants to work with a begruding servant (speaking from the "I" perspective here…).
Look forward to hearing how it goes. And you’ve given me inspiration to consider my own volunteer activities.
Hi, Eileen. Here are a couple of thoughts/questions that rise for me. Maybe you’ve already considered these sorts of things–
1. Â I imagine you’re considering a way to communicate your intention to the various groups you’ve been involved in, yes? Â Depending on how you frame it, it could allow other community members to take stock on how much they are or aren’t participating. Â Something tells me you’ve thought this through.
2. Â I don’t recall where I read this about Woolman: Â it seems to me at some point he asked (or other Friends offered?) that Friends agreed to "take up his concern"–share the burden, walk the talk–and Friends responded. Â The prompt to take a Sabbath Year may not be as weighty as the burden Woolman was Given, but this may be an opportunity where members of your various communities can "take up the concerns" to which you’ve contributed so much time and energy and love. Â I hope so. Â Â Â
Blessings,
Liz Opp, The Good Raised Up
Thanks Liz and Jenny. Yes, I’m starting to think about how to communicate this. The few people I’ve mentioned it to so far were very supportive–and also over committed themselves. The challenge is that the people who volunteer less are the ones I know less well, so I’m not sure they will feel inspired to take up what I’ve done. At meeting there is a nominating committee charged with finding people to do the work of the meeting, but at school, it’s whoever shows up. In particular I’ve been wondering how to make the driving to basketball games more equitable. It’s assumed that parents with flexible schedules will always drive, and those who have chosen flexible schedules are usually the mothers. I want people to understand that I am taking off from my work to drive and encourage others to do that occasionally, without coming off a whiney or taking for granted the enormous privilege of my position. So it’s complicated. Will keep you posted.
P.S. Liz, I forgot to say that this experiment connects to the intro to your last post–trying to distinguish between being "good enough" and being a faithful servant.
A few years ago, I took a year off from volunteering, for similar reasons to yours, Eileen. I still said "yes" to projects that were fulfilling or that I really wanted to do during that year. This past year, I decided to get off of as many committees as I could and do more direct and project-based volunteer work that did not involve lots of meetings.
A lot of the volunteer work I’ve done has been in support of children and my kids’ schools, but I wanted to get back to working directly with children, so I volunteer at Mighty Writers one afternoon a week. I am very interested in parenting issues, so I organized a speaker series at my synagogue.
If I sit down and list the other causes and organizations I’m involved with it’s still a bit much, but it really helps to be doing those two things that give me a lot of energy!
I think, too, that standing aside makes room for others to come forward.
Over the years I’ve sometimes volunteered in ways that I enjoyed but also sometimes only out of a feeling of obligation. About a year ago, I decided that I would only volunteer if I could do so with an open and giving heart. I haven’t always been successful at this and sometimes I still have feelings of resentment. However, most of the time I’ve been able to enjoy what I was doing. I also found that when I asked myself the question of whether I could volunteer with an open heart, it made me enjoy the volunteering even more. One thing it made me think about was the value of what I was volunteering to do. I had to admit that many of the things that I volunteered for were not all that important. It made me realize that if I did not volunteer and no one else stepped up, it might not even be something that was missed. I’m not really sure how I feel about that. On the one hand its kind of sad but on the other hand it alleviates some of the guilt I may have about not volunteering.
I also have had to take time off from the activities of my life for reflection. I often have too much enthusiasm and jump in, volunteering for things that I don’t really have time for. Then, I feel guilty, resentful, or exhausted.
Several years ago, I developed some questions that I now use to reflect upon before I say, "Yes"…
~ Is it *Life-giving*?
~ Is it *Meaningful* for me?
~ Will it be *Fun* because of who I do this with and/or it involves my creativity?
~ Does it have *Health*, *Well-being* and *Personal Safety* in mind?
~ Is it motivated by *Love* and *Compassion* or Fear?
I volunteered for Women in the Court System in a court-appointed clinic. I did a journaling and meditation workshop. After my time was up, I couldn’t believe that I found the time to do it and yet I never felt stressed… I *Loved* the experience and found it Life-Giving 🙂
Wishing you the best during this year of reflection
In the Light,
Sharon