Imperfect Serenity Blog
I began this blog in 2005 while I was taking care of two young children and my dying mother, so the title, Imperfect Serenity, referred to my struggle to stay spiritually grounded during a difficult time. Eventually the title came to include my experiences in eco-justice activism, anti-racism work, and book publicity.
Focus
Recently I spent time with someone who is younger than I am, had a comparable education, and now runs a large organization. Thinking about how his career path has been different than mine raises a host of conflicting feelings in me: gratitude for the richness of the life I’ve experienced so far and frustration that I haven’t accomplished more by what is quite optimistically the middle of my life; an un-Quakerly pride that I never put career ambitions ahead of following a leading, mixed with a desire to be better compensated for work I think is important; an appreciation for the things I’ve learned on this circuitous path, as well as a sense that I want to focus my energy more in the future. It’s [...]
A Quaker Approach to Prayer
Thanks to everyone who posted their thoughts on Quakers and Prayer on my Facebook profile. I used many of your suggestions during my talk at Church of the Redeemer, which seemed to go well. I won’t try to recount everything I said here, but I will share a few things I figured out along the way. After the usual disclaimer about how hard it is to generalize about Quakers, I started with “that of God in everyone” and the Quaker belief that we are all always connected to God and can feel that connection at any time and in any place, though we are not always attentive to it. Prayer, I suggested, is any attempt to pay attention to the Divine. It may take the [...]
Connections
Running into an old friend and her daughterLast week was a whirlwind—and not just because snow continued to blow through Philadelphia. I hopped on a plane Wednesday (a day early because of the forecast) and headed down to Durham, North Carolina, where I delivered three talks in three days, visited with several old friends, met a bunch of new interesting folks, and didn’t get quite enough sleep. Back home now and way behind on email, I’m reflecting on the wonder and longevity of human connections. Even just in publicizing the talk I gave at The Regulator Bookshop, I rekindled connections with three old college professors, two of whom took me out to a wonderful French dinner while I was in Durham. Thirty years after I [...]
Passages
You all know I like to talk about books—especially good books I’m reading and books by friends. Saltwater Slavery: A Middle Passage from Africa to American Diaspora is an award-winning study of how the Atlantic slave trade worked to transform human beings into commodities. Author Stephanie Smallwood takes the records of the Royal African Company and the correspondence between its employees and digs out their unintentional hints as to what enslaved Africans actually experienced during this process. It’s not only a first rate piece of historical research, it’s well written and compelling, which as a former graduate student I have to say is not always the case with academic books. (Confession, Stephanie is a good friend, which is why I picked up the book, but not [...]
Minutes of Religious Service
It’s been two years since my meeting granted me a minute of religious service, and since my anchor committee is meeting tomorrow night, it seems like a good time to reflect on what having a minute has meant. First, for the non-Quakers—or for those Friends whose meetings don’t engage in this practice—let me explain a few terms in that first sentence. A Quaker congregation (in my branch of Quakerism) is called a monthly meeting (Robin M explains the many ways we use the word meeting) because, although we gather to worship every week, we meet once a month to conduct business in a spirit of worship. (Some Quakers use the term “church,” but I won’t try to explain all the variety within Quakerism here.) A minute [...]
Life’s Fragility
Yesterday, after running into a woman whose husband is in remission from brain cancer, I realized how many reminders I’ve been getting lately of life’s fragility. A member of our meeting has entered hospice after many months of treatment for brain cancer. Another member’s ALS has progressed to the point where, for the first time on Sunday, I couldn’t understand something she said. A good friend, who is my age, just got diagnosed with breast cancer (which is mercifully easier to treat than ALS or brain cancer), and the father of one of my son’s classmates died suddenly of a heart attack on Monday. Another friend’s father-in-law also died this week, all of which prompted me to remember to include our health in the things [...]
New Discernment Question
Speaking of fear… I’ve been given my own opportunity to work through some. As some of you know, I teach a class on South African history at University of the Arts, which I really enjoy. The course uses the art, music, and literature of South Africa to study the apartheid era. This is the fifth time I’m teaching it, and the student response has been positive. For some students, the course has been transformative. For me, it has been a way to teach ideas I care about while staying connected to the younger me who was in the Peace Corps in Botswana in the 1980s. I’ve been longing to go back to Southern Africa some time, and though the cost has always seemed prohibitive, teaching [...]
The Science of Fear
I’ve been reading this fascinating book by Daniel Gardner called The Science of Fear: How the Culture of Fear Manipulates Your Brain. One of the things he talks about is how our brains haven’t evolved much since the days when our ancestors learned about new dangers around the campfire, even though our information systems have expanded exponentially. As a result, he argues, we walk around ramped up on fear because of stories we’ve heard, even though we (especially middle class Americans?) live in a much safer world than most human beings in history. His analysis rings true to me. When I got a permission slip for my two children to go on a middle school ski trip, the first thing I thought of was Natasha [...]
Inner Preparation
After weeks of the quiet life, I gave two talks this week—not the readings from the book that I’ve gotten pretty confident about, but two different forty-five minute lectures in a row, which is longer than I usually speak without some type of audience participation. Monday night was to an amazing group of parents of children with addictions. Tuesday was to a Pendle Hill audience that included some intimidatingly well-known Quakers, new students at Pendle Hill, and people who were new to both, who came because they had heard about my book. I’m still sorting through what I’ve learned from these two experiences, but it centers around the question of inner preparation. I had decided that the themes of fear and letting go were going [...]
Coping with Fear
I’m giving two talks next week, both related to coping with fear. (The one at Pendle Hill on Tuesday is open to the public.) Of course, I have some thoughts on this, but I’m wondering what your thoughts are. What has helped you to overcome fear, especially in a time of transition? Is there a story you’d like to share about how fear has hindered you or how facing fear has helped you grow? Would love to hear people’s insights as I’m pondering this myself.