I’ve had it with Disney. It’s bad enough that their female characters have waists that would choke Thumbelina. It’s bad enough that many Disney films reflect racial stereotypes, like The Lion King, where the darker lion is the evil one, and the shiftless hyenas have African American accents. It’s bad enough that they’ve convinced us that a trip to Disney Land/World is as obligatory for middle class American families as a trip to Mecca is for Muslims. Today, however, I am outraged by Disney’s marketing genius because they have got my seven-year-old boy begging to see a PG13 movie.

According to our newspaper, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest includes “supernatural scares, violence, mayhem, adult themes.” Despite this, Pirates of the Caribbean is the film currently featured at McDonalds, where children young enough to suck on a French fry can get a pirate patch, pirate ear ring, and a telescope with a scull on it. At Borders and Barnes & Nobel, they’re selling Pirates of the Caribbean treasure chests and sticker books. At the toy store, Pirates of the Caribbean action figures are available, with 4+ as the recommended age. These are a sword’s length from the Superman Returns figures and around the corner from the Lord of the Rings stuff, two other movies that are too scary for the four-year-olds targeted for the toys, though at least those films have good guys. Aren’t pirates just violent thieves anyway?

When I pointed out to my seven-year-old that they were making pirate toys for children too young to see the movie, Luke explained, “They want kids to beg their parents to see it.” As if I hadn’t figured that out. At least he understands that the marketers are trying to manipulate him, and me. In fact he understands quite a bit about the whole system. When he asked for the pirate treasure chest at Borders and I said, “Maybe you can get it for Christmas,” Luke astutely responded, “They won’t be selling the chest at Christmas. The movie is out now.” Of course, he’s right. It will be something else by Christmas.

“Don’t be afraid to say no to your children,” the experts warn us, and of course, we have to be able to say no, especially when it comes to something as important as protecting them from violent images. But when highly paid marketing experts are sitting around strategizing about how to make my son beg, I feel like a canoe up against a ship of pirates. It’s just not fair to make parents work this hard to do the right thing.